On not very distant past, by the time I still put all my ego on my heart that hard as a rock.
I did all the mistakes that could be thought by teenage girl, I did smoke, I did late night trip, I did crash my car for so many stubid times on same place, I did hate people whose I’m not supposed to, I spent night with boys, I procrascinating, I rarely went to my courses that I supposed to take.
Now, as I’m (supposed) to be more wise I still did it all except smoking and crashing my car (but I’m still able to make my bicycle broken).
Now, I really regret my decision back then especially the smoking decision, back then I did that to compensate all the sleepless night and all the stress that comes out on my mind. Now everytime I stay up late to eork or just insomnia my body starve for the nicotine, caffeine, or any toxin that includes on 4000 cigarrete’s toxin.
This feeling is kinda weird, you hate it but also like it, you miss those smoking time but also wants to forget it. It’s part of my past that always be part of my present and future.
Untill now everytime that smoking idea crossed on my mind, I try to focus myself on something else and make a mental note that I don’t want to die younger than my expected year. Untill today it’s been 2.5 years since my last butt, nice huh?
People said ‘It’s just a memory, it doesn’t have any power’
