Category Archives: loving life

Me 2.0

it’s about the time I write about what happen recently on my life

life is indeed sucks, if I know I spent my 3.5 years waste on Netherland I would rather never gave any thought of coming there, but yes indeed, it sucks, it is disappointing, it is depressing, and it gave me one freaking big wound on my heart.

but c’est la vie, the world turns, time waits for no one, life moves on.

3 months of struggling on my crazy house, doing nothing but spending money for dentist and dermatologist. I took a big step of taking a course of Welding Engineer on b4t, what do I want? I’m not really sure I’ll get career on this field, neither I will be able to learn this new thing, but my heart say go on raise your sail, so I decided just for once to believe on my heart and just for this once let the universe decide what they want to do with me. By series of coincidence here and there I got a chance to took the course.

The result?

to be honest, I felt to reborn, there in the class, I met some young mind, some old soul, some child on their old manifest, some wise guy on their childish look. Somehow, for the first time I feel thank god to be 26, to have some kind of maturity in mind, to have a big heart, to understand different kind of people, to be mature and childish in the right time.

some how I felt I found what I’ve been looking for, a supportive environment, caring friends, funny people, someone who I can rely on and someone who rely on me, someone who shared their stories without thinking about my background.

For the first time in my 2 years of life I felt thank god that he gave me such a great bless, to live, to feel happy, to feel sadness, to be strong and survive until this moment.

PS: I think I’m gonna be married in Sept, but hey who knows? perhaps other miracle could come

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Blabbering

A friend of mine is a campus activist, when I talked with him or just listened to his stories I felt so small.

He, who has same age as I do already did a lot of thing in the world in the name of idealism and nationalism.

Me who is still struggling with my quarter life crisis and hate to think deeply about my future and prefer to go with the flow than stuck in a problem.

I don’t know which one is better, but when I talked to him I felt that my life is worse, I never thought about my future, my country, and what should I do to improve the quality of my surrounding.Kinda sucks.

Makes me felt tired being me.

will I ever get a chance to improve my surrounds?or just to improve my self, I guess the answer to that question is I’ll never get a chance unless I look for it.

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While we live

I fond Kiroro a lot. Who is Kiroro? Kiroro is a duo group that came from Japan, they are very famous on early 90s if you came from my era I bet you’ve heard their song once when we were in high school.

One of their famous song is Mirai-e, I’ll post the viseo on the next post, meanwhile I’d like to share one of their video. It inspired me to stay positive in live.

On the next line put the english translation of the lyrics, enjoy!

While we live

Mama, on the day I was born What was the colour of the sky?
Papa, on the day I was born  How did you feel?

Since then, I began to pick up words My own
Liking, and my means to seek affection Became an inseparable part of me

While we live While we  live Now, beginning from this moment
While we live While we live Our lives expand, and connect

Mama, when you first embraced me in your arms How did you feel?
Papa, the day I was born Were you overjoyed?

Since then, miracles recur…My own
Liking, and encounters I look forward as they continue to nurture

While we live While we live
The dream to keep flapping our wings forever
While we live While we live
The roots grow deep thick and strong

While we live While we live Now, beginning from this moment
While we live While we live Our lives expand, and connect
While we live While we live
The dream to keep flapping our wings forever
While we live While we live
The roots grow deep thick and strong

The roots grow deep thick and strong

credits:thanx for ongyj on you tube!

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what is love?

what is love?

I don’t know how am I supposed to answer this question

They said love could defeat anything, they said that love is something that bind to people together, they said if you love someone you will forgive everything.

I haven’t found my own definition about love, does love that stick me and my boyfriend or because I’m just used with him?Does he feel the same and in the same amount of my love? I don’t know either, everytime I talk to him about this topic he turned him self into anger that’s ridicolous but I have no idea why he did that.

-love is listening love is acknowledging and seeing thing as ordinary-

taken from this website

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missing you

I miss someone that I can’t  reach

someone that always busy with his own business

someone who didn’t think I’m exist

and didn’t realize that he’s my reason to life

I wish I could be his significant other

but it’s just my imagination

and I ask my self

should I try harder or let the world turns?

There’s no guarantee that he’ll realize

what I felt deep down my heart

-delftse blauw mijn haart ook-

PS: I choose to let the world turn (perhaps) someday we’ll meet in the other world

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lesson learned

make sure you check the schedule if you want to skip the class for the whole day, to make sure you didn’t cause  any loss for yourself (and your partner)

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