D+1, my feeling

Ied El-Fitr, D+1

After my so called celebration of Ied El-Fitr (went to Indonesian moslem’s celebration, went to Wisma Duta, and spent night night on Mba Enik’s home) I should feel refresh, but strangely enough I feel terrible today.

Someday I feel that I did something nasty and unforgiveable and forget about that, what I feel is not regret but sinfull and guilty. I tried to remember it but somehow I couldn’t recall any memories about it, I began to think that I couldn’t differentiate between reality and dream, OMG, what’s wrong with me?

I think somehow someway, it’s just some compensation from my endless depression as student who spent so many money but not (yet) graduate..

I hate it..

usually when I have such a bad premonition like this something bad and nasty will happen, i hope it doesn’t come true

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random dialog

me and my supervisor and literally divided by room divider, our room sit next to each other, and since my lab member only consists of few people, we became close to other.

one day  I met my supervisor to ask about few thing, I brought some paper and such thing, later he talks about matriks and such thing, and he asked me whether I’ll need some matlab script to extract some data, so I just like ‘OK’ but since it’s a bit late he told me to remind him tomorrow, and such weird conversation happen.

Supervisor (S): Please remind me to give you the script tomorrow morning

Stupid master student (SMS) : ummm, ok, I’m easily to forget something, let me just write it first (busy looking for paper)

S:It’s a matlab script to extract delfrac file to matlab input

SMS:rrrrr, what is it again that I have to remind you?

S:to remind me to give you the script

SMS:right (writing, writing)

S:or I could just remind you to remind me that I have to give you the script

SMS: huh? (take me sometimes to understand his word)

S: oh well, I got to go to sport centre

SMS: oh ok

I’m absolutely sure that me and my supervisor are specialized on creating awkward situation

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Alienated

Sometimes after spent so much time together I thought I know someone really well, but by the end we have to separate, I realize that I knew nothing about that person.

Life is funny thing.

Human is indeed complicated creature.

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Nervous attack!

Lately I got some feeling that I became illeterate in English, I became really nervous when I have to talk to people in English, my pronounciation and vocabulary in English became really shabby

I don’t know why, (now I know why, it’s also related with my next post) perhaps it’s the side effect of coffee or too much japanese anime (it’s not like I became fluent in Japanese) or lack of sleeping or less frequent talking with people or too much concern on my mind or inability to be focus

Geesh, what’s wrong with me?

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thesis grade

After very short discussion me and my working room mate agreed that:

Thesis report grade = function(number of equation, number of figures, number of table, number of colours used on the report, weight of the report)

side note:

1) this term is valid for engineering student only if number of equations are more than 100

2) the term of number of equation doesn’t valid for social studies student

Unfortunately we haven’t agreed about the fixed formula.

LOL..

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All about Ramadhan..

it comes without any announcement, but Ramadhan is definitely coming to town, despite of  what is stated on the praying application I will start my fasting a day later than normal one, blame me but I just want to follow Indonesian jama’ah

Ah… Ramadhan..

The name brings out all the memories about it, since I’m abroad it’s nothing like I’ll have nice memories about it at it left is only the reminiscence when I was younger, I’ll  start to write it before i lost all memories about it.

1. I miss my mom and my home situation during Ramadhan, my family has a custom to prepare meals (even heavy meals) long before the maghrib started, it means that the ta’jil (snack for iftar) already prepared like 2 hours before, and my mom always and always made fuss about it at it was always a big fuss if the cocktails is not prepared, and when the time is getting closer she’s getting more and more fussy, me and my brother call it ‘The mom’s syndrome’ and incidentally my sister also has that syndrome. Well, I guess that’s proved that the blood is really thicker than water.

2. When I was in Surabaya, I lived on a huge dormitory, it was such a nice place and really nice time (though sometimes I also had a bad time, but well life is not perfect anyway), sometimes during Ramadhan there was an old lady who sell food on really cheap food for sahur inside the dorm, so as I could imagine that lady woke up really early just to prepare the food and bring her super heavy food tray to sell us really cheap food (don’t ask the hygienic and the quality of the food), comes to think of it, she really helps us (the lazy girl) to eat some food for sahur. I miss her and her terrible cooking.

3. Again, when i was in college, my and my friends had a crazy idea to made some kind of  sahur catering, in a short word we woke up really early, we bought the food at night, we packed the stuff and send the packed food for someone who already ordered it, it was really crazy crazy time, sometimes we were packing the food while watching those european match (Imagine 6-7 hrs different from Europe), ooo Mela, Mbuchan, Amichan, Yono-san, you guys are really adorable, I really missed those time

4. Aaaah, ‘pulang kampung’ or homecoming, my most memorable homecoming is when I have to returned home fews days after one of my friend dies, it was really overwhelming and every time Ramadhan comes i always cried for her, not only because she’s no longer here but also all those future that she couldn’t possibly get, for already remind me that life is really short I have to say, thanks Dianita..

Lots of memories coming out when words of Ramadhan pops out, including some lonely ‘Iedul fitri’ on Netherlands, rushing up to get to the prayer, all those delicious tajil, all those family fight, the forgotten opor ayam that becomes rot after vacation. Aww.. those happy and also sad memories.

Time to walk on, time to make new memories about it.

All I’m trying to say is, have a nice ramadhan my friend, hopefully on this Ramadhan we could obtain the taqwa, will conduct all the worshipping in this holy month easily.

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